As the ciggie burns in my hand i can see my life burning away like that....why am i cramping hi life.. he was supposed to be my best buddy my soul my mirror my reflection why am i asking him to become me....
i know what i am doing i know why i am doing this but honestly i have no control on myself...i cant bear this dirty mind of mine.. i am cribbing like a child to make him be with me but i also know this will make him hate me make him go away...but i cant bear it re.. i cant think straight i cant be normal.. that day i really wished he stayed back i really wished... i needed him i still do but i need to accept that he has a life he has a way of living and i really am bloody no body to make him live the way i want..
i am so insecure about him going away...i wish i had never meet him...but u know what he is my angel and i cant screw his life like this..sometimes i think i shld go away work some other place and maybe that's my solution but if i do this he will be hurt...not maybe i know for sure i will hurt him.. u know i sometimes think infact i know i love him.. i wish to be with him all my life and sometimes i think i shld ask him or at least tell him but i know if i do and he cant reciprocate the same he will feel really bad cause he might think i do this i do that and he aint able to do this for me.. i dont want him to feel guilty about anything anything t all.. i love him more all this... i am sorry...
mujhe nai pata wats in store for us...mujhe nai pata.. i think maine jo kiya hai uska result hai but the fact is i am sorry and i really mean it that i am honest when it comes to dv i cant screw his life.. i need to get away.. today u know what i smsed him smsed him and actually made him agree to come here.. how cud i.. u know what he smsed he will be there in good time and bad... fuck what am i.. some peice of shit... i need to control myself... god help me... as the cigiee burns i dont want to fade away.. somewhere i really wish that we be together but not by screwing his life i want him to be there only if he wants to...
i cn burn but i dnt want to fade away from him....
love u.. i really do...............................................
2 comments:
i realized u've been blogging for quite some time now and i cant help but notice that u have a good commend over the language.
why dont u start writing abt other things also, u know!!!!!
u r a good writer material...
relationships come and go but u are always alone...
U think i can write.. :)
To be honest i cant talk i mean i cant express when i am talking and i am not someone who can share i have huge number of friends but i can tell them things so i write.. !!
Maybe i should be writing about other things too.. !!
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