i am confused !! i am feeling like shit, i am feeling used.. but i know its not true, but then if thats not true where is he heading tonight and with whom and for what ??
But then i only said do whatever u wish to but come back home.. i only said that now now why am i feeling like this..
Am i not good enough anymore have i got boring.. i am scared i will loose him.. i do everything just because i want him to be happy but by him doing all this its hurting me.. why did i give someone so much space that it gave them the right to hurt me.. i did want to feel the special thing again.. i tried to be with ppl who feel for me but tat was not my place and here i am facing the fucking situation again the same thing happening again i am clueless in life again..
Honestly i wish to be dead cause everything is killing me and also for the fact that i don't have the courage inside me to face the reality.. i cant really do without him.. my hands go to the phone to call him but i should not cause i am trapping him thats what he felt. he also thought i might try to screw his life... how can i when i really wish to spend my life with him how can i think about screwing his life...
He says on phone to his frnd dont tell her i am going there..why not as if i have the rights to stop him..i dont.. Am at work and i swear i cant concentrate i am not able to leave my personal and professional life aside..i chocked my own life..i swaer when it started off it was special and i never in my worst dreams thought i would come to this point. Never did i think i will feel so cheap so used and so unwanted. Does he not feel the same. Does he ever think about me.. Does he ever feel what i feel about him.. The answers are NO and i need to come out of dreams and be back to reality..
But i love him and thats something which i cant throw away.. i promise never again will i ever feel anything about anyone.. it happened once and i made the mistake of making it happen again.. i cheated on myself.. i screwed me.. well i guess i deserve this..
just that i hope someday he feels the way i do and i hope its not late..
6 comments:
well, is that the truth???
i think, love sucks...
so much pain and suffering and eventually we realize that it was not meant to be...
there are more beautiful things in life to think about except love.
Think Big, Think Cigarettes!!!!
@ devil's advocate
Thanks buddy... i still do not know whats the truth... am i seeing it the wrong way or is it the wrong way along...
HEY!
I dont know your name, so let me call you "Anne".
Let me add, i've waiting like... forever for your reply.
Thank God (Though I'm an atheist). U atleast took the trouble to respond.
So Anne, I'm kind of looking at the brighter side of life now-a-days.
So, on second thoughts, I think, Whatever Happens, Happens For The Best."
It was your destiny to meet him n fall in love with him.
Dont regret that fact...
May Be, its time to move on.....
So go ahead, grab a cigarette and feel good!!!!!
By the Way, Davidoff is a good brand...
;) Cheers!!!!
Hey !!
Thanks for the name , i like the name lets keep it that way :)
Maybe u are right its time to move on but it does not seem easy...
I don't regret anything cause at that particular point of time we do things cause we want do it so wats the point in regretting later..
I am gonna try your advice now... gotta think big, think cigarettes !! :)
Thanks Buddy !!
Hi anne!
Read ur latest post. found it quite refreshing actually.
Where is this place? i would actually love to visit it. i am a avid traveller myself. been to quite a few places in India... somehow i have this promonition that i would be travelling abroad. just waiting for the right time.
hey Anne, have u been to Alibaug? its just 3 hours drive from Mumbai and 2 Hours from Panvel.
I dont know if you are a theist or an athist but i know this place in alibaug which is quite close to nature. there is a temple atop a hill. i regulary visit that place and feel the amazing calm of nature.
there is something about that place that makes you want to go there for the weekend and enjoy....
so.. coming back to your post, the very fact that you wrote on a different topic is cool...
i dont know if i am sounding too pushy Anne, (believe me... i'm not) but you can really mail me on
fearme@myself.com.
its good to be able to talk to someone anonymously.
Reply when you come back.
Have a good time:)
now-a-days i'm experimenting with bidi... dont thing i'm wierd or anything just wanted to taste it... tell you what , its just amazing... Low on nicotine and low on Carbon Monoxide.
Think Big & Live Life King Size.
Cjeers!!!!
wow.. thatz a realy long msg...
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