Hmmm... Wondering wat to pen down.........

DEV D..... that's high on my mind right now, saw the movie fantastic movie, the take on modern day ppl the Y Generation.... i guess we all are somewhere down the heart a DEV D cause we just don't trust ppl.. or do we ??

Abhay deols character was so honest i mean i could relate to it...

dv seems to be so much like dev d.. i mean just like dev d was in love with paro even though he was with chanda who took care who stood by him who was someone he was so comfortable with he still talked at paro his love, does dv talk abt vids.. last night while watching the movie i felt nothing less than a whore even if he is comfortable with me he talks to me about anything under the sun, he thinks i am his best frnd but thats where it stops being frnds even if we have moved far ahead than being just frnds, i swear i felt like a whore.........

i am so much like chanda who loves dev inspite of knowing the fact that he might not love back to be honest i think i have fallen for dv and i love him but i know that fact that he does not, he happens to be with me spends time with m, says he loves me but we love our pet dogs too right.. but i know i am not that spl person and it honestly it breaks my heart,

As the saying goes it breaks your heart to see the person you love not happy with you but there is nothing more painful than not letting the person know what you feel him them, i know it and i want dv to know it but honestly i cant afford to loose his friendship i just cant, he is far too important to be lost for love i cant do it..

Does he really not know that i love him does he really not feel all the spl the way i try and make him feel, does he really not know how important he is to me , does he really not see how much i feel for him.......... i wish he could read between lines and somewhere my heart says he knows it but my brains he does not he cares a damn abt it but my heart says he cares and he knows everything just that he aint telling it, i hope my hearts right.... or maybe its gods way of punishing me for what i did to golu.... i am sorry.....

Dv if u ever realise waht i feel for u and if u dont feel the same pls dont stop talking to me pls... but i hope u feel the same too i swear i will go 8 sizes lesser than what i am soon i know say it but i aint putting any efforts but i swear will do something b4 your birthday you will i swear see a new me and i hope u love me.......................................

take care.. god bless... love u dv

iTs VaLtEnTiNe HoNeY !!!!!!!

well its lunch time...a lot of thoughts banging right through my brains, tomorrow morning i welcome back my parents, i missed them yaar but now i am really gonna miss him........... i lived life with him man, this is the 3rd time that i wanted mom dad to stay back a bit longer and all these 3 times have been him.... am i in love or am i in love with the idea of being with him, i dont know, but whatever it is its special.. its really really special... god i want this special things to be there forever man.. sometimes i think human beings especially me are very selfish, there is this person who says i will be there always dont say no give it a try but i dont feel anything for him am i so stone hearted, but just because i dont wanna hurt him should i stay with him but wat after that i will stray cause i dont wanna be there, am i so wrong if i say i dont wanna be with him i am sorry i cant be there.......

i feel so special with dv i know he does not think of it as a long term bond he is just being there cause he likes being with me but he also know i love being with him, we have our sweet share of fights, we have our share of eye talk its all so cute man..........



last 15 days have been bliss, we ate together, drank together , cooked together, slept together its was about us more than me or him...mornings have been hateful u know get up b4 him so that it makes him get up i mean its so silly but its so cute as well, pick up everything after dinner cause he is too tired to do it, so cute, sit with him while he makes him manual even if ur eyes are closing with dollops of sleep resting on ur lids, so cute... i just love everything about him...

asking in the morning in his language "samayam??" and me trying to think in sleep what is he telling me, so cute....

i am in love i guess but am i right being in love when someone is hurt because of me and honestly i dont wanna get in a relationship now but i wanna be with him, i mean we both like each other understand each other and dont pretend about anything itsnt that the basis of something very strong very pure very sacred very special...

just wanna say i had heard angels always surround us, sanjay has been my angel too but this time around i have been touched by an angel and it made me spacial......

ThAnKs Dv My AnGeL !!!! LoVe YoU.. MuAh...

CoNFuSeD To ThE CoRe... !!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh the month ended and what a month it had been.... i m so god damn confused.. whats wrong with me... i cant be a lovey dovey girl who sees stars in the day just by looking at him.... god just some chemical imbalance in the head i guess.. :)

anyways new year came and went by, the month ended it all happened so very quick yaar...

last night was some night man infact the night before too was rocking too i was so bloody drunk :) phew dont even remember much of it.. :P the stuff plus the hooka plus *$#%!&*( god lethal combination... :)

mom dad i miss u guys but kya karu yaar i am sorry too... but mom dad i really love u guys u are the best ppl who happned to me, love u... Rimpa yaar wish u were here i really miss you yaar... love u bacha...