hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...........The road less travelled...

Today the day seems to be when u sit back and think, the day for retrospection kinda.... :)
cant belive i stuck around at work for 1 year 3 months and 16 days already... phew time just keeps running, in between these 471 days life took thrice the number of turns, all along i have won something, lost something, loved, hated, broke, attached all under one hat one sun...

Seems amazing at times as how time and life really waits for none, in this time i have loved ppl, hurt some ppl, broken some ppl, broke muself, gave away myself, just went the way that i felt i should and honestly the only thing i regeret is not being able to stand by the ppl ihave hurt, i wih i could go aback and change that maybe i would love to go back 5 years ago and chnage the root of it.... But as they saw spilt milk is wasted milk but i pray from the bottom of my heart that i want them to be happy, i swear i never wanted to screw them...




When i sit back i think i have moved far away from my brood as well, my sister went away to UK and today i dont really crib and cry about the fact that she aint here it has become a way of life now... i hope i adjust when she comes back... :) sorry baby..

the other day i was watching this serial " how i met ur mother " where the friend of the guy broke up his relationship cause she thought his flame did not pass the poarch test, i really found it so nice i mean she was married happy but she had the liberty to break her frnds relation cause she gave importance to them being togetehre when ther grow old and play cards on the poarch, how i wish hemant thought the same, but happens and thats why we have the chnace to sit back and think.....

Life moves on and so do we, we usually have 2 roads a road less travelled and a road often taken and its we who deceide to take the risk or not, i wud take tke the road less travelled atleast u have some stories for ur kids when u grow old... :)

ThE Gr8 HuMan MiNd !!!

why is it that people don't care when u don't leave any stone unturned to help them...

i guess that's what human beings all about... when u get something to keep asking for more without thinking how much are u sucking the other person and when it comes to your giving suddenly everything just dries up... seems really funny at times but i guess that's what it is all about...

i had never expected this from that someone from whom i even had a run up with my mom dad, i guess it was not worth it..

what hurts more is the fact that it being taken so casually that the attitude is what hurts.. mai kya karu is the question i mean what do i say after that...

anyways i guess its just not the day for me.. kya bakwaas likh rahi hu mujhe bhi nahi pata... i need a break man i really need a break.............

April Fool's Day.... :)

April fools day and i have already been made a fool today :) infact last night.... Dv got me this time bloody wat happened to me i have no clue when he said he is going back asap cause he needs to go to the OZ Land i was like as they say in Hindi..

Pair k neeche se zameen kisak gai

....

Today is rupa's birthday...wished her this morning.. how can i ever forget her bday.. i was made such a big fool 12 years ago... :)

sometimes when i sit back i really feel like laughing hard at myself i knew everything its just that i was keeping my eyes closed.... that itself qualifies me to be the fool on april fools day... :)

the biggest tamasha of fools is coming soom the gr8 general elections... yesterday when SC ruled out sanjay dutt from contesting he comes over to blame UPA for not letting him contest plus the gr8 Mr. Amar Singh goes on to carry out a full length press conference for the same.. i mean how can ppl think we are so stupids to fall for the trap, why should they let someone like sanjay dutt contest i mean what good has he done in his life.



I am not here to judge him on his life but for the fact that he had a troubled teens with his mom dying, then drugs and then jail and also the blast case he has seen it all, he must be a good human being not denying that but with the records of jail should he be contesting at all. I mean here we have all the fourums on the net in papers going out to try and make INDIA the corrupt free nation and all, no crimals for elections stand etc does Mr. Sanajy Dutt think he should even stand for elections have the Nov 26th attack, morally he should himself stand away...

The other day i was reading this report of how the kashmiri's have turned around, they admit that ppl like umar abdhulla have really brought about some kinda change in their always-being-bombed state, this is what a true leader stands for, he has been doing something , what have the rest done , what has the gr8 dame Miss. Mayavati done, what has sanjay dutt done and what has his elder brother [:)]

mere bade bhai

amar singh done other than being arm candy for amitabh sir the actor.



I hope someday these fools realise that when on 1st April ppl are made fool for the 1st time we become fools the 2 nd time we may become a fool again but the 3rd time we know wats coming and then we dont take it lying low, but yes there is a segment of ppl who no matter what no matter what day just keep making fools out of themselves and these dutt, mayavati , singh etc are at their best..... As they say

har kutte ka din aata hai

pata nahi kab koun vote karde and yeh jeet jaye....

:)

Happy April Fools Day...

trouble in pradise..... please dont blow it

trouble brewing..... not just simply trouble its deep trouble, it need to happen and happen soon as i am loosing my peace of mind and so is he..
He has been in an important meeting and its really very important for him and because of this he is loosing it and its affecting us.. He puts it very pyaar se but i know deep down its scaring him and because of this i cant afford to loose him, i cant...
Please just happen.......................................................

i beg of u............

Hmmm... Wondering wat to pen down.........

DEV D..... that's high on my mind right now, saw the movie fantastic movie, the take on modern day ppl the Y Generation.... i guess we all are somewhere down the heart a DEV D cause we just don't trust ppl.. or do we ??

Abhay deols character was so honest i mean i could relate to it...

dv seems to be so much like dev d.. i mean just like dev d was in love with paro even though he was with chanda who took care who stood by him who was someone he was so comfortable with he still talked at paro his love, does dv talk abt vids.. last night while watching the movie i felt nothing less than a whore even if he is comfortable with me he talks to me about anything under the sun, he thinks i am his best frnd but thats where it stops being frnds even if we have moved far ahead than being just frnds, i swear i felt like a whore.........

i am so much like chanda who loves dev inspite of knowing the fact that he might not love back to be honest i think i have fallen for dv and i love him but i know that fact that he does not, he happens to be with me spends time with m, says he loves me but we love our pet dogs too right.. but i know i am not that spl person and it honestly it breaks my heart,

As the saying goes it breaks your heart to see the person you love not happy with you but there is nothing more painful than not letting the person know what you feel him them, i know it and i want dv to know it but honestly i cant afford to loose his friendship i just cant, he is far too important to be lost for love i cant do it..

Does he really not know that i love him does he really not feel all the spl the way i try and make him feel, does he really not know how important he is to me , does he really not see how much i feel for him.......... i wish he could read between lines and somewhere my heart says he knows it but my brains he does not he cares a damn abt it but my heart says he cares and he knows everything just that he aint telling it, i hope my hearts right.... or maybe its gods way of punishing me for what i did to golu.... i am sorry.....

Dv if u ever realise waht i feel for u and if u dont feel the same pls dont stop talking to me pls... but i hope u feel the same too i swear i will go 8 sizes lesser than what i am soon i know say it but i aint putting any efforts but i swear will do something b4 your birthday you will i swear see a new me and i hope u love me.......................................

take care.. god bless... love u dv

iTs VaLtEnTiNe HoNeY !!!!!!!

well its lunch time...a lot of thoughts banging right through my brains, tomorrow morning i welcome back my parents, i missed them yaar but now i am really gonna miss him........... i lived life with him man, this is the 3rd time that i wanted mom dad to stay back a bit longer and all these 3 times have been him.... am i in love or am i in love with the idea of being with him, i dont know, but whatever it is its special.. its really really special... god i want this special things to be there forever man.. sometimes i think human beings especially me are very selfish, there is this person who says i will be there always dont say no give it a try but i dont feel anything for him am i so stone hearted, but just because i dont wanna hurt him should i stay with him but wat after that i will stray cause i dont wanna be there, am i so wrong if i say i dont wanna be with him i am sorry i cant be there.......

i feel so special with dv i know he does not think of it as a long term bond he is just being there cause he likes being with me but he also know i love being with him, we have our sweet share of fights, we have our share of eye talk its all so cute man..........



last 15 days have been bliss, we ate together, drank together , cooked together, slept together its was about us more than me or him...mornings have been hateful u know get up b4 him so that it makes him get up i mean its so silly but its so cute as well, pick up everything after dinner cause he is too tired to do it, so cute, sit with him while he makes him manual even if ur eyes are closing with dollops of sleep resting on ur lids, so cute... i just love everything about him...

asking in the morning in his language "samayam??" and me trying to think in sleep what is he telling me, so cute....

i am in love i guess but am i right being in love when someone is hurt because of me and honestly i dont wanna get in a relationship now but i wanna be with him, i mean we both like each other understand each other and dont pretend about anything itsnt that the basis of something very strong very pure very sacred very special...

just wanna say i had heard angels always surround us, sanjay has been my angel too but this time around i have been touched by an angel and it made me spacial......

ThAnKs Dv My AnGeL !!!! LoVe YoU.. MuAh...

CoNFuSeD To ThE CoRe... !!!!!!!!!!!!

Gosh the month ended and what a month it had been.... i m so god damn confused.. whats wrong with me... i cant be a lovey dovey girl who sees stars in the day just by looking at him.... god just some chemical imbalance in the head i guess.. :)

anyways new year came and went by, the month ended it all happened so very quick yaar...

last night was some night man infact the night before too was rocking too i was so bloody drunk :) phew dont even remember much of it.. :P the stuff plus the hooka plus *$#%!&*( god lethal combination... :)

mom dad i miss u guys but kya karu yaar i am sorry too... but mom dad i really love u guys u are the best ppl who happned to me, love u... Rimpa yaar wish u were here i really miss you yaar... love u bacha...