What should i name u.... !!

I dont know what to write today... i am not bored , nor has anything significant happened, nor did i make something happen, nothing at all... but i wanna write maybe just go jhdbfjbfgskbfjkbfj :p

Lame things did i did today, woke up late i am serious the TV is eating on my sleep... last night i had no clue what to do there was DDLJ on one channel toh serials on the other..... spoilt by choice u see... :p

coming back to this morning i had to drag myself out of the bed, not that i don't do that everyday but today was extra special.. the fact that tomorrow is Saturday made it even more difficult cause i work on Saturdays.... ya i know u don't have to twitch on that...

My frnds are leaving for  Leh tomorrow.. i am so J man i wish i had a bike beneath my ass and off to LEH i wud have been... last year in Aug when i went to LEH and to the beautiful KASHMIR... those 8 days were pure trance.. nasha of a different level... no daru no smoke no maal can get u there :p

i miss LEH... wanna hit the roads again for Leh.. !!!

as of now i am sitting here in front of the pc.. thinking abt abt the shit load of work that i need to do but dont want to and hence scribbling something :p

Like FB says "Whats on your mind" - i wanna fly high... that on my mind.. on this day i wanna fly so high that i can soar up in the sky and no one can touch me there.. tats hat i wanna do.. :)

Whats on your mind.. ??? i guess it wud stop this nonsense.. :p so its buh byeeeeeeeeee !! :p

What do i start off with... hmmm.. just back from a small trip to the land of strawberries... What a place, never fails to make you fall in love with her... Panchgani.... !!!

A YeAR ThAt WeNt bY !! :p

A year that went by, from my last birthday to this birthday...


Well loads of things took shape, have a cat, have a bike club rather am a owner of a bike club , lived my dream which i waited for 6 years - LEH, saw 11 places in the last one year, went from confused state of mnd about being in love to am i in love to yes i am in love to are u sure i am in love state :p , read a lot , worked my ass off, partied hard, drank hard, in short I lived.. !!!

thats Cheeku... my love.. !!!

The Mumbai Musafirs... the club we formed..

LEh - This is what dreams are made off.. !!!







Life has been beautiful so far.. !!

It was my b'day.... had a gr8 one and a worst one too...
Best for the fact that i had a gr8 party at home.. parents are damn cool and awesome... bad for the fact that i still don't know where i stand in a certain way...wat is it that i am, wat is it that shld ask or wat is it that i shld expect... i have no clue.. i am bloody past half my life and i am not sure where i stand or wat i want.. i dont know.. i dont know what i need to do or what i shld expect.. i have been cursed for life i guess...

HaPpY NeW YeAr !!!!!!

Its the time of the year....

....when all of us have happily discarded the old calendars and put up new brighter ones.

....when we look back at the past year and evaluate it in terms of losses and gains, we also plan for the year ahead with lots of kept unkept resolutions lots of hopes, new dreams, aims and goals.

Yes the year 2009 has ended and we have already stepped into 2010.

Just as every passing year has some significance attached to it, this one has been significant for me.

When I look back and see that I've made it through various ups and downs this year, I feel proud and blessed for having your best wishes and prayers all through by my side.

And hence on the first day of the year I take the opportunity to THANK each and every one of my family and friends(virtual friends too :) ) for all the support you have extended and made me smile through the hardships. I’d like you to know, it means a lot to me.

On that note.. here’s wishing you and your loved ones prosperity,good health,wealth happiness and abundant blessings.

May 2010 bring with it all the wonderful things you hoped for…

Happy New Year !!!!!

Tomorrow i am off to a small vacation................
A vacation i badly need... a vacation to a place where no network you can access.. trust me there is a place where u cant access network and that too within 2 hours from the city of BOMBAY.. !! Amazing aint it.. !!!

Aint it something we all would love to be at i mean far away from the maddening crowd, the local train, the bus rides, the heat..everything..... U know here when we look out of the office glass ( we spend most of the time there ) all we see is buildings, industries but hardly any birds and ya we hardly hear the birds chirp these days...
i remember when i was in school right outside my window there used to be this golmohar tree and it had so many sparrows and at times these little fellows used to come inside the room... i used to call them "chiddimai" :) (how stupid) but now no chiddimai's at all.. they seem to have disappeared completely.... but guess what the place i am heading for has loads of them...

U know the best part about this place is the house, it a thatched roof house, with this gobar lipa hua floor and hence colddddddddd when this khatiya outside on the veranda with a beautiful mountain view... wat else would u ask for !!

i have been there like 50 times already but everytime i go there i discover something new, last time i went trekking on the mountain and saw these beautiful birds and flowers.. i wonder wats in store this time....



Its almost the end of the week... and i cant wait for mornng tomorrow....
more when i am back...................... :)

!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am confused !! i am feeling like shit, i am feeling used.. but i know its not true, but then if thats not true where is he heading tonight and with whom and for what ??
But then i only said do whatever u wish to but come back home.. i only said that now now why am i feeling like this..
Am i not good enough anymore have i got boring.. i am scared i will loose him.. i do everything just because i want him to be happy but by him doing all this its hurting me.. why did i give someone so much space that it gave them the right to hurt me.. i did want to feel the special thing again.. i tried to be with ppl who feel for me but tat was not my place and here i am facing the fucking situation again the same thing happening again i am clueless in life again..
Honestly i wish to be dead cause everything is killing me and also for the fact that i don't have the courage inside me to face the reality.. i cant really do without him.. my hands go to the phone to call him but i should not cause i am trapping him thats what he felt. he also thought i might try to screw his life... how can i when i really wish to spend my life with him how can i think about screwing his life...
He says on phone to his frnd dont tell her i am going there..why not as if i have the rights to stop him..i dont.. Am at work and i swear i cant concentrate i am not able to leave my personal and professional life aside..i chocked my own life..i swaer when it started off it was special and i never in my worst dreams thought i would come to this point. Never did i think i will feel so cheap so used and so unwanted. Does he not feel the same. Does he ever think about me.. Does he ever feel what i feel about him.. The answers are NO and i need to come out of dreams and be back to reality..
But i love him and thats something which i cant throw away.. i promise never again will i ever feel anything about anyone.. it happened once and i made the mistake of making it happen again.. i cheated on myself.. i screwed me.. well i guess i deserve this..
just that i hope someday he feels the way i do and i hope its not late..